Entering into my fourth year living in New York I have come to accept the fact that Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha have lied to me. The carefree, bugetless lifestyle with which these thin, white, middleclass women live doesn’t really exist. I have come to accept the fact that attractive, single, successful men are not on every corner, that I can’t just pick up a dress from Bergdorf’s on a whim, and that cocktail hour doesn’t take place on a daily basis. I recognize that I can’t eat whatever I want and have Carrie’s six-pack abs or just show up to the most exclusive bar/restaurant in town and get in, that in real New York City there are a lot more doors that are shut than open. All of this is good and fine, but what is really the bummer is that the women who used to be my super heroes, are not all that empowered and independent.
The sitcom’s aim was the “deconstruction of sexual and social conventions” through the portrayal of four single, economically independent women living in New York City (Sex and the City, Kiss and Tell 26). Through a sexual discourse, in which the sexual encounters are narrated from the female standpoint, the show attempts to reverse the roles in the heterosexual relationship. Sex is openly discussed, in public spaces (the coffee shop) down to the last detail, portraying the women as the subjects and the men as the objects of the conversation. More importantly, the “dozens of hotbed topics: blow jobs, threesomes, twenty-somethings, anal sex, secret sex, and why vibrators are better than men” are used to suggest a type of liberation for women, a fostering of feminism and deviation away from societal norms regarding sexuality (Sex and the City, Kiss and Tell 26).
If only this was really the case. In The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women, Naomi Wolf examines the medias’ construction of a myth of inclusion and the illusion of freedom, directed mainly at women, dubbed the “beauty myth”. She argues that the present societal ideals serve a purpose, “often a financial one, namely to increase the profits of those advertisers whose ad dollars actually drove the media that, in turn, created the ideals” (3). However, Wolf recognizes that these beliefs and values are rarely acknowledged or questioned by society. Subsequently, she posits that the “social limits to women’s lives” have been transposed “directly onto our faces and bodies”(270). Hence female liberation is permanently fastened to female beauty.
Correspondingly, in Narcissism as Liberation, Susan J. Douglas analyzes the representation of female liberation of the 1980s in the form of narcissism with an emphasis on performance, precision and control. She explains, “women’s liberation became equated with women’s ability to do whatever they wanted for themselves, whenever they wanted, no matter what the expense” (246). Hence the female appearance was seen as something women could have complete control over. Douglas further posits that the female appearance served as “indicators of a woman’s potential for success” (260). The perfecting of the body to fit in with the beauty ideal was acknowledged as a woman’s access to freedom and control. On the contrary, Douglas argues “the ‘new woman’ of the 1980s then, perpetuated and legitimated the most crass, selfish aspects of consumer capitalism and thus served to distort and deny the most basic and revolutionary principles of feminism” (266).
Karen E. Dill examines the way in which these constructed images of the beauty ideal are converted from fantasy to reality through the mass media. She argues that fantasy; “a prepackaged, mass produced vision” dominates reality (89). Dill explains that the availability and oversaturation of media images is thus inverted as the norm due to its prevalence. Hence our three-dimensional self takes a backseat to the two-dimensional self. Dill’s analysis of this transformation in our way of seeing and thinking reveals the repercussions on the individual’s internalization of these ideologies. She explains, “for women, the result is almost certainly feelings of inadequacy, even guilt and shame, and the belief that we are failures a women” (132). This feeling of guilt circles back to this idea of control over one’s appearance. A woman’s inability to attain the (unrealistic) beauty ideal is seen her lack of control.
Additionally, Dill surveys the way in which these representations of reality are framed within the media. She elucidates, “representation means that members of difference races, sexes, and other social groups should be portrayed proportionally in the media—in a way that is roughly similar to their numbers in the larger social group they represent” (93). However, this is not truly the case in the media, as certain representations are given more value and exposure than others. Dill argues that this underrepresentation of a group tells “a subtle story about race, gender, sexual orientation, and other traits” (94).
So how does this have a crash and burn affect on our image of the women in Sex and the City? Wolf asks, “Does a woman’s sexuality correspond to what she looks like? Does she have the right to sexual pleasure and self-esteem because she’s a person, or must she earn that right through “beauty” as she used to through marriage?” (271). Sadly, in the case of our four friends, Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte, the answer is yes. The woman’s sexuality, sexual pleasure and self-esteem are only issued to those women who are considered “beautiful” and yes it does come with a lifetime supply of male dependence.
Both in the show and in Wolf and Douglas’s opinion, feminism is fastened to society’s image of ideal beauty and femininity. All four of the women are petite and dress in youthful clothing. Furthermore the body is still invoked to define the woman’s power and control within her relationships. Sex while, openly discussed in explicit detail, only “reinforces female dependence on the male approval” (Douglas 249). Hence the sexual practices of all four of the main characters cannot take place without a male figure. Unfortunately, Samantha’s declarations of having sex like a man only further fortifies “the media’s most popular—and pernicious—distortions of feminism: that ambitious women want, or should want, to be just like men” (Douglas 262). Additionally, the frame through which we see these supposed acts of female liberation in Sex and the City reflect a narrow representation. All four of our friends are young, thin, white, and economically successful, the perfect model of the beauty myth.
Either way, whether or not Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte can still be considered our friends, the show is over…. So who has come in to fill their shoes? Who serves as the new representation of women?
Dill, Karen E. "Issues in Media and Social Learning: Rap Music, Beauty and Domestic Violence." How Fantasy Becomes Reality: Seeing Through Influence. 132-40. Print.
Douglas, Susan J. "Narcissism as Liberation." Where the Girls Are: Growing Up Female with the Mass Media. 245-68. Print.
Sohn, Amy, and Sarah Wildman. Sex and the City: Kiss and Tell. New York: Pocket, 2004. Print.
Wolf, Naomi. The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women. Print.
